Iowa 47, UMASS 7: Two Hundred and Fifty

Quick Recap reminder: I write this all in real time. I don’t hold back. If I think it, I write it and this year, I’m even including timestamps so you can go back and check my work or follow along on a rewatch. Just like I would never judge any of you for overreacting, don’t throw any shade my way. Despite everything I said last week, I still somehow love this team with every fiber of my being and I want them to dominate every single snap every single game. Yes, I know that’s impossible, but the heart wants what it wants.

At least that should happen today…I hope.

First Quarter

13:45 – I promised myself I wouldn’t freak out if Iowa came out and lit the world on fire because of how, well, uncompetitive UMass is but after a QB keeper and TWO STRAIGHT PASSES DOWN THE FIELD THAT RESULTED IN A TOUCHDOWN HOW CAN I NOT FREAK OUT? HOLY GUACAMOLE THAT WAS FUN TO WATCH! Get right game for the offense? Some people are saying…

Me… I’m saying it. I’m some people…but look!

7-0, IOWA

11:28 – After UMASS went backwards on offense, they blast a pretty decent punt but Wetjen picked it up off the bounce and takes it 39-yards for an electric return that was much, much needed after a game he’d like to forget against Iowa State. Get right game for special teams? Some people are saying…

7:41 – Seth Anderson with a little toe tap swag for the (and his) second touchdown of the game already. This is going to be an extremely quick “Quick Recap” because this game is already over. 14 points through the air? Kirk is going to pound the air out of the ball the rest of the way and move on to Rutgers on a short week. Can’t say I blame him at all… UMASS is not good. BUT it’s hard for me to watch what has already transpired and not wonder what would’ve happened last week against Iowa State had Kirk Ferentz and Tim Lester gone with a similar gameplan. But what do I know?

NOT MUCH

13-0, Hawkeyes…yes we missed the extra point. BUT, Mark Gronowski is 5-6 for 96 yards and two tuddies and all is right in Iowa City.

2:08 – THE JET. That’s it. That’s the update.

20-0, Iowa. We’re still in the first quarter. UMASS is UMASS minus the U and M

Everybody wave… FINALLY!

Second Quarter

14:10 – After Iowa gets stopped for their first 3-and-out for the game, UMASS blocks the punt and sets up a 1st and 10 and the Iowa 21-yard line. That was one easiest blocked punts you will ever, EVER see in college football. The Hawkeye secial teams has been UMASS minus the U and M this year so far, too.

11:50 – UMASS QB Grant Jordan almost takes ANOTHER horrible sack on second down but evades, scrambles for his life and then took off for a touchdown. I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but let’s just go ahead and start the “pound the air out of the ball for sustained 5-7 minute drives the rest of the game and just turn the page on this game” gameplan. No sense of playing with your food anymore. We got to see Gronowski throw passes down field like the FBS version of Tim Tebow and it worked enough to keep all of us (including me) off Iowa’s ass for at least a week. Run the ball. Win. Graduate. Do it right. Yada. Yada.

20-7, Hawks.

9:50 – After a couple decent plays on the ground and through the air, Iowa stalls out but it gives Drew Stevens the chance to show off his leg and get called out by Pat McAfee and NAILS A 54-yarder that would’ve been good from 60+ easily. What a leg… I hope Ryan Poles drafts him with his 4th round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft.

23-7, good guys.

8:11 – Max Llewellyn is a monster and he truly might end up with one of those stat lines that you can only get in NCAA Football ‘26. You know the kind where it’s like 8 tackles for loss, 6.5 sacks, one fumble recovery.

5:56 – Iowa stalls after another dropped pass by a wide open receiver. Something’s gotta give here guys. It’s hard enough as it is to get that open, but when you are that open you gotta reel it in. It’s almost as if we’re shocked the play worked. I don’t know. Frustrating.

OH! And Drew Stevens just missed the field goal. Hung it right above the goalpost and it looks like it curved in by the end of its flight but because it was even withthe post when it crossed the officials waved it off. SICKKKKKKK. I love Iowa Football so much.

Cancel the For The Brand shoutout.

23-7 still.

:26 – TEBOWSKI FOR THE TOUCHDOWNNNNNNNNN AND 40TH CAREER RUSHING TUDDY.

MOST FIRST HALF POINTS SINCE 2021!!!

I’ve mentally moved on to Rutgers and am currently looking up how far the drive is from my house in Pennsylvania.

30-7, ALL HAWKS.

Before we take a break, I think it’s important to share some first half stats. QB1 is 11-19 and 160 yards through the air and three total touchdowns and that’s with a few drops AGAIN in a first half that was easy as it comes. Not sure you can ask for much more than that whether you’re playing the Sisters of St. Teresa’s Prep School or UMASS.

Iowa came out wanting to pass and they are doing objectively well at that. The competition is very, very low. But you gotta start somewhere. Get some confidence back and keep working at it.

And most importantly, Kaden Wetjen what a difference a week makes. Kirk said as much going into the locker rooms – the kid pressed a little too hard against Iowa State and just needed to settle down. And he’s done that after a week of practice. Hell, he’s settled so much that he’s honestly PISSED if he doesn’t score against the Minutemen. He’s been a game breaker tonight.

Third Quarter

12:39 – TAPS SIGN ABOVE ^

KADEN WETJEN YOU ARE RIDICULOUS! 95-yards after a booming punt!!! SAY HELLO TO THE BIG TEN SPECIAL TEAMS PLAYER OF THE WEEK! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. What a comeback game for the Jet. That was electric, electric stuff.

Why are they even letting him come close to catching a punt anymore? It’s obvious to everyone the kid is doing everything he can to score and he’s gotten close a few times.

It’s a bold strategy Cotton…

37-7, the Fighting Wetjen’s.

3:12 – Stuff happened. Nothing really noteworthy outside of another Drew Stevens field goal after Gronowski got tackled from behind and fumbled out of bounds after extending a play and hoping to find an open man in the endzone. I wish, wish, wish Iowa had ONE single dude in the passing game that we could count on to get open either with their athleticism, speed or overall size.

What I would do for even a sniff of a Tony Moeaki on this team.

Anyways, this game is so beyond over, we just need a running clock.

40-7,

Fourth Quarter

11:01ish – Hank Brown is in, Iowa is still moving the ball well and he just threw for his first touchdown of his Iowa career. I’m glad they are getting him some snaps and still running somewhat of a real gameplan with him. It’s important this kid gets some time and a little bit of faith built up with the fanbase. We are all just WAITING to believe in something… why not this kid with the big time SEC ceiling?

Throw in a few transfers at the WR/TE position? It could look niceeeeeee.

I’m not joking with you, this is conversation just took place in the SpoCo text thread:

Me: Hank could be Iowa good

DCIII: It took 13 yards

Z: No hyperbole but that’s the first QB to complete that specific pass since Nate.

We’re nuts!

Whatever, Iowa won 47-7. There were way too many drops by the wideouts AGAIN for both Gronowski and Brown and yes I’m kinda pissy about it. CLEAN IT UP. You’re not good enough to overcome this many drops. Sorry.

Good win. Let’s move on. Need to start 1-0 in the Big Ten.

But, but, but before I go, I want to leave you all with this tribute video from the Big Ten Network for Kirk’s 205th win:

There is a LOT of happiness in there. I truly am happy that he accomplished such a feat. And it is a FEAT.

Look, he’s going to be the first to say that he doesn’t belong in the same stratosphere as the names he will now ALWAYS be remembered with…so I don’t feel the need to repeat it. He’ll also thank and give credit to everyone else while trying to push off this accomplishment.

What a humble man.

No, he’s not Woody or Bo but he WAS Kirk Ferentz. HE WAS ALWAYS KIRK FERENTZ. Even when it started off hard. Even when the L’s racked up. Even when the game changed around him. Even when his son was the OC and failing. He was Kirk Ferentz through and through. And damnit if he didn’t win a lot of football games being exactly him.

Congratulations to the most winningest coach I will ever witness again in my lifetime. You drove me crazy and you always HAD TO do it the hard way. But man, it was a whole helluva lotta fun watching you do it.

Thank you, Kirk. Well done.